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How to approach kids about persistent lying or stealing

We are all made up of different parts.  Not just body parts, but emotional parts.

And the majority of us struggle with embracing the “bad” parts, though the emotions we each feel uncomfortable with and label as “bad” differs.

I remember feeling shocked a handful of years ago when my sister and I got together for some chocolate torte and conversation.  The torte was good but, unusually, I could not move past a certain topic.  As I described the story to my sister she put down her fork, looked me straight in the eye and said, “ It sounds like you’re angry.”

I froze.  Dumbfounded and embarrassed.

“Is that what this is…I’m angry?!  I’ve never felt that before,” I said.

To the best of my knowledge, I wasn’t lying.  As a 30-something-year-old female, I had never consciously known what it felt like to be angry.

Growing up, I had a tendency to run anxious but if something made me mad I had a habit of moving away from it.

Hiding your feelings from yourself or others in order to keep the peace is a common characteristic of the “Pleaser.”

As a Certified Parent and Life Coach, my mission is to help adults uncover who they want to become as parents and equip them with tools to reveal the unique gifts of their children.

Part of this journey must include understanding the variety of emotional parts within yourself so that you can help your child learn to cope with their own.

You are your child’s mirror.  And if your mirror is missing a central piece your child can’t be seen fully for who they are—a whole person with a full spectrum of feelings.

So, what can parents do to understand the “bad” parts of children’s behavior?  I reached out to my good friend and colleague, Amie Summers, LGSW, SEP, OIX, to answer this question.

I strongly recommend carving out the time to watch this interview—not only does Amie teach us about the survival impulse behind persistent lying and stealing in children, but she guides us through an exercise that helps to recognize and integrate different emotional parts.

When you own your emotional parts you become a full mirror—one that recognizes beauty and offers grace to your child, even during the difficult moments.

Constancy and permanency are the building blocks of attachment.  Attachment leads to a sense of belonging and safety, which is essential to resilience and happiness in life.

Caring professionals who share their wisdom and parents who open their hearts to learning and growth always inspires me.

What you do matters, so thank you for taking a part of your day and sharing it with me here!

If you like this video please “like” it and share it with your friends.  For more guest interviews and discussion on professional topics that are designed to bring more peace and enjoyment into families come check out Mad2Glad Impact–a community of like-minded professionals who make a meaningful difference!

To learn more about Amie’s work, check her out here

Research the work of Holly Van Gulden here

I’d love to hear from you now…

what works in your home when it comes to resolving issues with lying and stealing?  

Your comment is important and may be exactly what another parent needs to read in order to develop a peaceful environment.  Please take a moment to share in the comments below.

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