You may have a fancy degree, years of experience in the family service field, and a bunch of happy clients…but at the end of the day we are human.
We don’t always have the answer to solve every problem, and there’s a good chance you’re going to make a mistake or two as a professional.
The worst part is that most of the mistakes we make are made with good intentions. And for that reason, we don’t always realize we are making the mistake.
From my own experience–along with talking to many of my colleagues and professional friends–I’ve discovered that there’s one mistake that seems to be made on a regular basis.
It’s a mistake that’s made with the intention of making a mom or dad feel better, and yet, while the intention is good, it does little to nothing to offer a solution that is actually helpful for parents.
What is this mistake? I won’t keep you guessing any longer. Listen up…
The #1 mistake I hear professionals talking about all the time is giving parents the wrong answer as to why kids melt down, throw tantrums, and downright “lose it” at the end of a long day.
We tell parents that their kids “lose it” at home because they’re tired at the end of a long day and they “feel safe” with parents–the perfect environment for a colossal breakdown.
What provokes us to give this answer? Plain and simple…we don’t want to hurt parents’ feelings with the real reason as to why kids often “lose it.”
The correct answer is that kids melt down because of fire in the brain–a response that happens when a child’s “downstairs brain” gets stuck in fight or flight mode. When this happens, a child suddenly feels the need to take control and will only comply if it’s something he or she wants to do.
What’s so offensive to parents about that, you ask? Here’s the real kicker…
Fire in the brain often occurs due to parents unintentionally adding fuel to the fire. And because you’re a kind and sensitive professional, the last thing you want to do is make it seem as if it’s your client’s’ fault that their child is breaking down.
I get it. I know exactly where you’re coming from. But here’s the thing…
The majority of parents have a burning desire to bring peace and joy into their home so they can enjoy their children, no matter what it takes.
If they didn’t care, they wouldn’t be sitting in your office asking you for help. Which is why, as a professional, it’s your responsibility to make parents aware of how their behavior may be contributing to their children’s meltdowns.
And it can be done in a kind, honest, and compassionate way that’s useful, valuable, and effective for everyone.
How do you fix this mistake? Now that’s the easy part…
All you need to do is teach the parents you work with not to “match their children’s fire.”
It begins with the parents’ understanding that they need to be calm and relaxed around their child. Once parents understand the power of calm, they can help their children through relaxation exercises, breathing exercises, or calming activities that help to control their fire.
The end result…happy, calm, and peaceful parents and kids.
I hope you found this information useful, and I really encourage you to give it a try the next time you meet with your clients. It’s a great tool to have on hand.
Speaking of tools, I’ve put together a Mad2Glad Parent Coaching Certification program that contains all of the tips, tools, and resources I use to truly make a difference in the lives of the families I work with.
Enrollment was going to end today but, I have 3 spots left so, if you’ve been on the fence, I encourage you to fill out an application for the program today! I can easily get you up to speed if you miss the first class, and then you, too, can begin your journey of becoming a Certified Parent Coach with 12 other amazing professionals!
Apply to the Mad2Glad Parent Coaching Certification program.
Submitting an application does not bind you into any form of agreement. It simply gives me an opportunity to get to know you better so we can decide together whether or not this program is right for you. You have nothing to lose!
Apply now before the deadline expires!