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Are you a real go-getter?  A high achiever?  A “tackle and overcome” sort of person?

…that is, before your little one dictated where all your time, energy and attention went?

If you want to feel the satisfaction of finishing a task uninterrupted for the first time in years, without a clinging child on your leg, then you’ll want to learn 4 Separation Strategies to keep in your pocket at all times!

Children follow the caregivers they love oh-so-much around the house demanding attention because they haven’t fully developed their ability to self-entertain or sustain their attention span enough to separate.  So how to separate from your little one in a way that promotes a secure attachment when she doesn’t know how to un-cling in the first place?

~   ~   ~  ~  ~  4 Separation Strategies  ~   ~  ~  ~  ~

  1. Engage your little one in thoughtful play for 15 solid minutes then state what you’re going to do Telling her your next step (rather than asking) and giving a solid good-bye rather than sneaking away keeps her in-the-loop so she won’t need to follow you around.
  2. Rock her body.  Enveloping your child in a soothing rhythm calms the brain and creates a sense of ease internally.  Remember how you rocked her to sleep as an infant?  Use this same motion to your advantage and create a tranquil mood, which leads to greater ability to separate peacefully.
  3. Acknowledge her psychological need.  Like all humans, children thrive when they are reassured of their good, loved and special qualities.  “Feeding the positive” stimulates her confidence, a requirement to internal security and satisfaction in playing alone.
  4. Add separation games into your play routine.  Hide-and-seek, peek-a-boo and jack-in-the-box (where you jump behind a corner and jump back to reappear) practice the act of leaving and reuniting.

Remember, your child’s brain has a long way to go before it’s fully developed so you’ll receive only small bits of “me” time at first.  As this extends into longer and longer periods you’ll return to the high-functioning caregiver you crave to be.  And remember, build-in personal rejuvenation as you obtain more “me” time as that’s one achievement that allows you to fully enjoy your family and life!

Share what you most want to FEEL this year in your parenting role and family.  I can’t wait to read it!

Want more ideas to decrease stress?  Call/email us today to schedule your private parenting consultation at 651-705-6665 / Relief@mad2glad.com

8 Comments

  • Anita Rieder says:

    These are solid pieces of advice! Always good to hear them again and again. I’d like to feel successful with my children and enjoy our time together.

    • Samantha says:

      Feeling successful and enjoying family time is such a bonus in life! We’re happy you commented and will reach out to help you schedule your complimentary VIP coaching session 🙂 ~Samantha

  • Jenny says:

    This really helps me a lot. It’s so difficult to get anything done because my 4 1/2 year old still needs constant interaction and attention at all times. I’m going to especially try #1, fully engaging in active play with him before separating to do the things I have to do, I think this one thing will really change things. Thank you!!! 🙂

    • Samantha says:

      Thoughtful play where we’re 100% connected can sometimes feel like it’s hard to find the time. When you observe your child’s ability to separate you will love your new “free” time, which will result in even greater than the 15-minutes you put in up-front. Enjoy!
      (And thanks for being comment #2. We’ll reach out to schedule your complimentary VIP coaching session soon)

  • Angie says:

    Great tips! I have never tried #1 in that way – I always try to promise them that one-on-one time after I complete my “me” time or “must-do” work. This is a great point to give them that direct time BEFORE you separate…I must try this!

    There are so many things I don’t want to feel as a parent, that it is hard to think of what I do want to feel! I don’t want guilt, power struggles, constant arguments. I do want to feel success, happiness & togetherness.

    • Samantha says:

      Sometimes when we flip our to-do list around we’re pleasantly surprised by how “fun” can lead to greater success, rather than less.
      (Thanks for sharing how you want to feel as a parent this year. Look for an email from us to get your complimentary VIP coaching session scheduled)

  • Brad says:

    Hi Samantha – With kids in the 7-9 range I think this applies to them as well. At least in my case. My kids, in fact, really look to me for that physical interaction. We call it “squishing” at my house :-). I’ll incorporate the method and see how it goes. Thanks,

    Brad

    • Samantha says:

      Great intuitive application, Brad! I appreciate your comment and you can expect a private email shortly.
      Smiles, Samantha

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