Last week you learned why ten moms prefer parent coaching to traditional therapy. But one response – from Susie, mother of four – stood out from the rest as she described how coaching brought her family further than she could have imagined! Enjoy her story, below.
Therapists, honestly did not have the skills to teach our 9-year-old daughter to self-regulate. They talked about her feelings, or asked what she could do when she was upset but these did not stick in her mind. Nor help her in “the moment”.
A sliding scale of her anger only made her painfully aware of how often she was angry.
The breathing exercises and games seemed like a good idea at the time but there was no real transfer because she couldn’t do what they asked her in the moment or understand consequences.
We tried to remind her and do what the therapist was getting at and it backfired almost every time. “That doesn’t work!” she would yell at us. “Who is going to help me with this anxiety?” “Who is going to fix this?”
Too much time, too much money, very little reward.
Plus, there was NO time for us parents. None to talk ahead of time, before the session to let the therapist know what state of mind or emotional levels we were dealing with at the moment, and there was no time for wrap up at the end so there was never a CLEAR CUT PATH.
I believe with all of my heart that the best therapists are US. We know our kids. They already trust us.
We needed to invest time and money into creating our relationship with her, not a temporary one with a specialist.
Going to Samantha as a team, with my husband was not only therapeutic for us, and healing in many regards, it also helped us create a language to use with our child.
We left having a clear path, objectives, things we knew Samantha would hold us accountable on. Each week built upon the last week. We felt as if we were attending a college level class on learning about the brain.
What we learned truly helped us beyond what we had ever discovered parenting our other three children.
This fourth child would prove to be very challenging and old techniques simply did not work, but learning about intense brained children helped us understand. We became knowledgeable about how the brain works, what we can do to calm the fire in our child’s brain and begin the slow process of retraining the neural pathways in our daughter’s mind and behavior.
This went way beyond behavior modification, which for our kiddo DIDN’T WORK. If it had, we wouldn’t be in such a terrible spot.
Parent coaching was like learning a new language. A new culture. Learning these truths and simple techniques has taken us further than we could have imagined.
It’s a slow path. It’s not easy because what we learned was that we had to change first, and in changing our reactions, that was the biggest tool in helping our daughter change hers.
It’s not a sprint, but a marathon. And we see that the time and money invested in us, the parents, will go further than any money spent on therapy for our daughter.
At the beginning, I wanted someone to fix my daughter. Make things easier. But when a friend heard about parent coaching he said, “You don’t HAVE to change….(insert wise sparkly smile)…you GET to change.”
We are with her in real life, night and day. The therapist is one hour a week. By doing Mad2Glad Parent Coaching we skyrocketed our investment 100 fold. More!
Most therapists are not trained in the science that Mad2Glad coaches are teaching, that the brain chemistry can be changed by how we think, how we react. It’s not an overnight fix but once you accept the journey it is nothing short of miraculous to watch the changes unfold.
My husband often says, “parent coaching has been by far the most helpful thing we have ever done for our daughter.”
We model to our children the very things we are asking them to do and we all learn and grow together. To change means that we become learners, leaders and better people who can love and enjoy life as we experience peace and joy like we never thought possible.
What a gift to humbly learn, to be open to someone getting into “your business” and coaching the very personal journey of parenting. Amazing. Vulnerable. Worth every penny.
Want more ideas to decrease stress? Schedule your private parenting consultation today by visiting: https://www.mad2glad.com/clarity/