During an intense situation with your child have you found yourself despairing, “this is not what I expected!”?
I hear you.
The trail-blazing part of my personality inspires me to jump-in to new activities so that I constantly find myself fully immersed in challenges. That’s the exciting-in-a-good-way part.
However, often times I feel like I’m floundering in the deep end of the pool because I forgot to take a swim lesson before jumping in. That’s the exciting-in-a-bad-way part.
It’s times like these that I want to smack my forehead as I think, “that lesson on how to launch a techie program could have saved my sanity!”
Do you ever think, “raising kids is not what I expected!” What if there was a way get your kids to listen without the yelling so you can save your sanity?
There is and we’re happy to share!
~ ~ ~ 5 steps to raise good listeners and save your sanity ~ ~ ~
- Give your child advance notice that you’re going to try something new so home will be more peaceful. E.g. During dinner time say, “You know how every night I ask you to brush your teeth and you don’t want to stop playing your game so we yell at each other? Tonight when I tell you ‘it’s time to brush your teeth’ I’ll wait a moment and let you tell me when you’re ready.”
- Approach your child who is intensely focused on his game and say, “I have a request – please let me know when you’re ready.” Don’t leave, stay near him. You’ll find that he will be ready to listen much sooner than you expect, like 10-60 seconds.
- Start your request with “it’s time.” When he looks up and says “I’m ready” say “it’s time to brush your teeth now.” Ending your request with a period rather than a question mark signals that his cooperation is required not optional.
- Physically guide your child into the bathroom if the auditory channel isn’t working. No yelling, no repeating, no negotiating or multi-tasking.
- Thank him with an “our family” statement to reinforce a positive self-identity and family-identity. E.g. “Thank you for saying ‘I’m ready.’ In our family it’s important to listen the first time and you’re great at brushing your teeth!”
Sometimes all it takes is the right plan with specific lessons in order to enjoy the endeavors we jump into. If you chose to have kids for the JOY of spending time with them, rather than despairing over challenging behaviors and poor listening skills then give this lesson a try!
Now, I’m curious about you…
What situations with your child cause you to think, “this is not what I expected!”? Share in the comments below.
As always, our community loves hearing from you so thanks for joining in!
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Technology makes “remembering” much easier, yes?