Establishing a consistent routine is one of the best ways to help prevent meltdowns and keep your intense child calm and happy. In fact, most kids thrive on structure and easily feel more secure and comfortable knowing what to expect going into daily situations.
There’s a good chance that you have established routines to get ready for school and out the door in the morning, get homework done, and going to bed.
If so, great work! Isn’t it amazing how much easier life becomes for your child when he or she knows what to expect every day?
But wait! If you’re thinking, “We have routines, but they’re miserable,” it’s likely you are missing a piece…
Routines alone aren’t a cure-all fix for every behavioral problem. With kids who like to be in control, it’s also important to optimize routines. Oftentimes, this means changing the order around a bit and adding a natural reward they can “earn” when the daily task they resist is completed.
One simple way to optimize the morning routine is to allow your child to “earn” screen time after she is dressed and has eaten, rather than before or at the same time.
With this simple modification, most parents tend to see notable positive changes in their kid’s behavior and independence.
So positive that it may come as a surprise when your kid’s school calls you to notify you about your child’s disruptive behavior in class or inability to follow the teacher’s directions.
If things are going well for you at home, how can they also be going so horribly wrong in school?
The simple answer is “pattern interrupt.”
Much like an optimized “get ready for school routine,” which includes a pause whenever challenging behavior appears, a “pattern interrupt” is necessary at school. That way, negative behavior patterns are paused and redirected, allowing the Little Scientist in your child’s brain to understand things cannot go on “as is.”
You may call this consequence or discipline…either way, to set your child up for success we gotta teach that brain what is acceptable every day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, no matter where your child is or whom they are interacting with.
Yes, that’s right.
You have the opportunity to give your child’s village (teachers, coaches, counselors, etc.) permission and instruction to implement the same discipline strategies that work with your child at home.
Here are 5 Steps to Getting Your Child’s Teacher on the Same Page:
- Write Down Your Family’s Discipline Strategy – Take some time to write out your type of discipline strategy so it’s in a tangible format that can be handed to your child’s teachers. Rough and to the point is ok. Unclear or wishy-washy is not.
- Be Specific – It’s important to write down specific examples of reasons you discipline your child and then explain the method of what discipline technique you’d use in that moment. For example: If Timmy is being disruptive by yelling at school, explain that at home you help Timmy settle down by having him take a 30-second break to interrupt the behavior, not by yelling at him or isolating him.
- Schedule a Time to Meet Up with Your Child’s Teacher – Effective discipline can be a tricky topic, especially since schools switched to the “positive rules” language (e.g., Be Nice vs. No Hurting). To make sure your child’s teachers completely understand the “why” behind your discipline methods and get on the same page with you, it’s best to have a face-to-face meeting to talk about your techniques in person.
- Talk to Your Child – It’s important to let your child know that the same consequences they get at home will also be given at school for poor listening, disruptive behaviors, tantrums, etc. Role-play with your child the consequence that will now occur at school when rules are broken.
- Keep Dialogue Open with Your Child’s Teachers – Checking in from time to time ensures everything is going ok and allows an opportunity to answer any questions they may have regarding your kid’s behavior and consequences.
Did you like these tips?
If so and you’re struggling with how to discipline your child without threats, bribes, or yelling, check out the Mad2Glad Discipline Protocol to discover if it’s the right fit for your family. It’s only $77, and you receive immediate online access.