Do you secretly feel as if you got unlucky in the child gene pool? Or are wondering how you became the parent of such an unruly child?
You’re not the only parent having these thoughts…
Many parents I speak with believe they got unlucky and ended up with a bad kid.
As awful as that sounds, it’s easy to feel this way!
Especially when you spend the majority of your energy managing meltdowns and negotiating over small tasks, and don’t get nearly enough sleep because there’s a battle to go to bed every night….and the only thing that’s certain is you will be repeating it again day after day.
When you’ve exhausted all of your options–-experimenting with new discipline techniques from books and blogs, visiting doctors, attending therapy sessions–and there’s still constant fighting, yelling, and frustration, your child instantly becomes the common denominator of the situation.
You may start to believe that there’s no way to “fix” your child’s behavior and succumb to the idea that you’ll be suffering from frustration, anger, and exhaustion until your child turns 18 and moves out.
If this is where you’re at right now, I want you to take a deep breath and pay attention because I’ve got great news for you.
Ready? Here it is…
There is no such thing as a bad child.
Your child’s difficult behavior actually has nothing to do with being a “bad kid” or you being a “bad parent.” It actually has to do with how your child’s brain is wired.
And brain wiring is NOT permanent–you can improve it.
As soon as you learn how to calm your child’s brain and communicate in a way that avoid triggers, you’ll instantly notice positive behavioral changes.
Do you want to nurture better listening skills, improved focus, and talking about feelings rather than blowing up? You can!
The brain influences behavior for three main reasons.
The first reason is that intense reactions are due to your child’s “downstairs brain” getting stuck in fight or flight mode. When this happens, your child suddenly feels the need to take control and will only comply if it’s something he or she wants to do…a problem called “fire in the brain.”
There is no rational thinking or good listening skills when the brain is on fire.
The second reason is the “upstairs brain,” which makes good decisions and balances impulses, is still under construction, and the downstairs brain is running the show. Because of this, it’s easy for your child to become impatient, rigid, and demanding.
The third reason is that the right brain, the emotional control center, does not respond to logic. So even if you express in a kind and gentle voice why it’s not ok to hurt your sibling, the logic will not sink in. Big emotions rule your intense child (and your entire family as a result), and traditional parenting methods fail.
Have you noticed that your child is controlling, demanding, or disrespectful? These behaviors are common, but they are not “normal”, and you don’t have to settle for them in the long haul.
There is hope. I want to help.
To start, I recommend you sign up for a FREE copy of my Intense Brain Child Report and Weekly Mad2Glad Parenting Tips for peace at home.
You will learn exactly what an Intense Brain Child is and the number one trigger of challenging behaviors. On a weekly basis, you will receive a free parenting tip that is simple and practical to implement.